Gathering

As I meditated this morning, with the sun glancing off the frost on the grass announcing that winter was soon to be on us in full force, the word ‘gathering’ kept appearing before my eyes.

During this ‘one-of-a-kind year----we can always hope---the concept of gathering for the holidays for many people will, no doubt, look very different than it has in other years. Gathering is usually something done with friends and family; something that we anticipate with joy, prepare for with delight, and remember fondly. This year, it’s apt to be something that we might approach with more fear than delight, since it is something that can hold danger for us, or for the people we care about the most.

So, I wonder if gathering can take on a different connotation this year---rather than bringing people we love together, if we think of it as a time to gather to ourselves. To bring IN to ourselves----thoughts, ideas, musings, perhaps some long-forgotten memories, feelings. Yes, I know, we’ve had many months to gather in---but I’m speaking of some intentional gathering in. The kind that also comes with gentle holding, embracing of what we gather---of whatever thoughts or insights we discover. Despite this terrible, awful, no good, very bad year---I, for one have much to be thankful for.

I have a wonderful and loving Partner who has made this time more than tolerable. It was never going to be fun, but we’ve managed to laugh at lots of things, AND we’ve also painted a few rooms, re-arranged a bunch of stuff that were sorely in need of our attention, and like everyone else, we’ve cooked and baked and tried new foods and had fun with that. We’ve also made friends with zoom---it’s a tenuous friendship when it involves meetings, I’ll admit; but when it involves a play or interesting webinar or something like that, we’re delighted and thankful for it.

I have 2 sons and their families who live on the west coast---that I haven’t seen in almost 1 year. I miss them terribly, but they’re all doing well. We can FaceTime and text and keep in touch that way. It’s not enough, but it’s better than nothing.

My friends are doing OK too. Sometimes we do cocktail time via FaceTime or zoom---not a bad thing either. We often talk about what we’ll do the next time we actually get together---that feels good.

And we will get through this! We will do what we need to do to keep ourselves and each other safe and we will make it through. And then we will gather together our newfound insights and strengths and our freshly hatched survival skills, and with more tenacity than we thought we possessed we’ll face the new days with optimism, humor, and grace.

Tao Te Ching - Translation

Today I just picked up this book and randomly selected one of the translations, #8.

The highest good is like water.

Water gives life to the ten thousand things and does not strive.

It flows in places men reject and so is like the Tao.

In dwelling, be close to the land.

In meditation, go deep in the heart.

In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.

In speech, be true.

In ruling, be just.

In business, be competent.

In action, watch the timing.

No fight: no blame.

The metaphor for the Tao is water since it comes in many forms—mist and rain, underground wells, rivulets, waterfalls, eddies in whitewater, rivers, lakes, and the oceans. The Tao is also called “the Way”, and is infinitely compassionate, supporting and nurturing. It cautions us not to blame ourselves or others for our wounds. For the Taoist, nature and spirit are inseparable. The “Way” is the forever harmony of heaven, the human and the earth that is always renewed yet inexhaustible.

This felt like a relevant and serendipitous thought for today.

Perhaps it’s also telling us to remember the gentle admonition to ‘go with the flow’---not try so hard, not force things, be open to possibilities rather than deciding what must be and insisting on a certain outcome. Sometimes when you’re looking for the exact right turn, you miss the best road just ahead.

A Gift from Marge Piercy

As you may have noticed, Marge Piercy is a poet that always speaks to my heart. Today, after I meditated and journaled, I casually opened one of her poetry books---it’s all dog-eared and underlined and highlighted and much loved. But one poem stood out for me, and I want to share just a few lines as they especially struck me on this day. These are lines from The Seven Pentacles:

Weave real connections, create real nodes, build real houses.

Live a life you can endure: make love that is loving.

Keep tangling and interweaving and taking more in,

a thicket and bramble wilderness to the outside but to us

interconnected with rabbit runs and burrows and lairs.

Live as if you liked yourself, and it may happen:

reach out, keep reaching out, keep bringing in.

This is how we are going to live for a long time: not always,

for every gardener knows that after the digging, after the planting,

after the long season of tending and growth, the harvest comes.

Anxiously Awaiting

“Anxiously Awaiting”—these words came to me in meditation today (November 4, 2020). There’s no declared winner in the Presidential Election at this time. Ballots by the millions are still being counted in several states. Apparently, the House remains in Democratic control, although seats have been lost to Republicans. It also appears that the Senate will remain in Republican control.

So, this state of awaiting anxiously, in this instance, refers to what others will need to do. Secretaries of State and people in charge of the ballot counting---volunteers throughout the nation who are all involved in this huge task. But I also thought about it more in terms of what I would do---or any single person---not exclusively related to this hugely important situation at hand.

The process of anxiously awaiting could happen in the very second before a writer’s pen touches the paper; before a diver pushes off the platform toward the water below; before a soprano releases that first gush of air that becomes that most glorious High C; before Phillippe Petit places his weight on the taut wire high above the busy street below; before a hang glider drops off the peak into thin air; before a conductor somehow manages to create the magic of the entire orchestra hitting that first note in perfect unison.

Anxiously awaiting isn’t a passive activity, even if it appears to be. It’s one loaded with promise, expectation, intensity, and awareness all brought to bare on one thing---one moment---that will gather all senses, all attention, all experience, all preparation for the purpose of starting something important---something challenging---something that has seemed beyond our ability or comfort zone or just beyond.

In terms of this Presidential election, we’ve already done our part---we’ve voted. It seems that more of us have voted in this election than in many other years---and that’s great. But now all we can do is wait---which is in itself anxiety provoking.

But if we choose to challenge ourselves beyond the ballot box, we could continue some of the conversations we’ve probably been engaged in recently around racism, white supremacy, inclusion, equity especially in access to health care, housing, child care, education, jobs. We could remain engaged or get engaged with people who don’t look like us. We could just start in our neighborhood, our community---to turn our anxiety into action.

Shel Silverstein - Hug O' War

Today is Election Day---a day many of us thought might never come since it’s seemed like the campaign season would last forever. But’s it’s over now and we’ll see the result in due time.

Many people have voted Absentee or Early---Many People. But I live in a tiny village in Western Massachusetts, and I’m heading to my polling place in a few minutes to cast my paper ballot that will be rolled into the wooden ballot box that’s been used in my village for over 100 years. This ritual just feels solid to me and honest and true. And I love it!

With all the rancor that’s been going on during this campaign---and for the past several years, actually, I find comfort in these simple things that I can depend on. Simple things like the garden, and the farmer’s cows across the street, and the horses in the paddock, the fall leaves and even the much too early snow fall.

I also find great comfort in poetry, and today I’m letting one of my favorite poets, Shel Silverstein, cover me with his gentle words. I hope this soothes you too.

HUG O’ WAR

I will not play at tug o’ war.

I’d rather play at hug o’ war,

Where everyone hugs

Instead of tugs

Where everyone giggles

And rolls on the rug,

Where everyone kisses

And everyone grins,

And everyone cuddles,

And everyone wins.

AR Ammons - Dominion

I said

Mr Schaefer

Did you get up to see the comet:

and:

he said

Oh no

Let it go by. I don’t care:

he has leaves to rake

and the

plunger on his washing machine isn’t working right:

he’s not amused

by ten-million-mile tails

or any million-mile-an-hour

universal swoosh

or

frozen gases

lit by disturbances

across our

solar arcs.

Disinterested, disconnected, inwardness, unaware----how very sad! He takes pains with small things of no matter while he misses the huge consequential events of life.

Spring Forward and Fall Back

Last night most of the country turned back their clocks from Daylight Savings Time to Regular Time.  But turning back our clocks was an artifact of the clock---we didn’t actually get an additional hour in our lives, even though most of us think that’s what ‘Spring Forward and Fall Back’ suggests. 

The idea of ‘saving time’ is an illusion.  We can’t save time.  We can

spend it,

take it,

use it,

fill it,

even serve it.

But we can’t actually save it---once a minute is gone, it’s gone forever and we can’t retrieve it to use again.  Not ever.

But we can surely waste time---fritter it away.  That’s entirely up to us.  

However, looking productive to some observer isn’t the same as actually filling time productively.  It’s entirely possible for a person to look like they’re just killing time, lazing about or taking a leisurely walk, when what they’re really doing is absorbing their surroundings and without they’re knowing it, allowing some creative soup to be made of prior thoughts, past experiences, snippets of conversations that jump started some hardly realized thinking, and the scents in the air that day/the feel of the sun through the window/and the sudden desire for a hot fudge sundae with pistachio ice cream.  Who knows what new story, invention, song, dance, game, or other completely unusual something could be the result of allowing/welcoming time like this?  Taking time to read to children, or do puzzles with a friend, or enjoy a knitting group can also seem trivial---but it’s a way to enjoy community and relationships.  It’s giving our time and sharing time and enjoying time with others. 

Since time can’t be saved, it makes sense to spend it as often as we can in ways that fill our spirit and puts goodness into the world.

I like to knit.  I particularly like it because it’s the making of a garment one stitch at a time.  And if I’m making that garment for someone else, like my granddaughter, for example, I have the pure delight of thinking about her as the yarn moves through my fingers, as I hear the specific sound of the needles creating the garment. If I’m working with particular yarn, there may be a unique scent to it, which just adds to my sweet experience.  But mostly, it’s just each stitch---the one-at-a-timeness of the project that I love.  And it really can’t be rushed---each stitch creates the pattern which completes the garment.  So, I get to spend time doing something enjoyable with my hands, while I think about the person I’m intending to give the finished product to, and I also get to drift away with other thoughts, ideas, musings.  For me, this is often time that becomes rich in sensation and solitary pleasure.

Other people must have similar experiences when they engage in activities that both fill and fulfill their time.  Painting, writing, gardening, cooking, making bread, singing, wood working, many others. 

Especially during this pandemic, have you discovered new ways to spend your time that brings you joy or that surprises you?  Have you discovered talents or interests that have been long buried or forgotten or never discovered before---and now have time to flourish?

Nobody would have wanted this terrible pandemic, but has the unencumbered time allowed you to learn some important things about yourself and/or your life?

What will you do with that new insight?