Dear Friend,
Stories of superheroes and goddesses often begin with an insight and then a realization followed by a decision to take back power and re-imagine who they were meant to be. That got me thinking---we can do that too!
Whatever happened that formed us as children, that other people did to us or with us or for us, good or not so good, influenced us; but we can choose not to let it control us now. Decisions that we make as younger versions of ourselves fall into that same category. These decisions may have built a foundation for ourselves that doesn’t need to be all that defines us for the future. We can always re-emerge as a new/different version of ourselves. We have in the past. We grew and developed from a toddler to a school-aged child to a teenager to an adult---those were all stages of maturity that held versions of us but hopefully with increasing intelligence, confidence, empathy, and knowledge of the world and our place in it. We learned valuable lessons from each stage that helped us to navigate to the next phase. So, we are familiar with these passages---it’s just that once we reach adulthood, we have more or seek more control over what we choose and prefer as we change.
From our grown-up viewpoint, the end of each phase can morph into a place where we begin to imagine our next origin story. What are the passions, ideas, challenges, desires, and wishes we think will accompany us into the next stage of our life? What will be satisfying? What do we want to accomplish? Where does love fit into this story? What gives us joy and delight? What do we want to learn about ourselves and others? What is it we believe we can contribute, understanding that this may be where surprise enters the picture?
Sometimes we want to move in this direction but feel too pulled by our other responsibilities to do it. If this is so, it’s valuable to work on believing that we’re as important as our other responsibilities, and we’ll be able to give more to others if we learn to care for ourselves and keep our own story current first.
Transition places are often rich in commotion. The act of becoming a new version of ourselves, whether remarkable or lesser in scope, demands extraordinary effort, focus, determination, and response to whatever inducements are prompting this change. For some people that transition struggle is visible, like a sword being wrenched from the hand of some force in a dream. For others, the effort is no less arduous, it just takes place on an internal sphere, hidden from prying or sympathetic eyes. Both challenges to become the newest version of ourselves require courage, confidence, and fortitude.
So, how do we know when we’re ready to take this on? When is the right time? This is where we need to learn to trust our inner knowing. When does it feel right? And what is the change that we’re moving toward? What does our honest self tell us about what’s best for us at this exact moment? I don’t have a slick answer for this. The usual responses direct us to meditation, yoga, and spending time in quiet practices to shut out the noise and get in tune with our authentic selves. I agree with this. It’s not slick but rather honest and demands attention and real intention on our part. We need to learn to trust ourselves and develop that part of ourselves that cares enough about our well-being to nurture and keep us.
Then we can choose to emerge as a new/next version of ourselves offering gifts that we may have been too shy or self-conscious or fearful to give in the past. We can choose to continue to provide better self-care, and support others in their endeavors to do the same. And we can live that journey until we are called to re-imagine our next version of ourselves---until we feel that familiar unease or imbalance that forces us to wonder what else there is for us to learn or make or contribute or become. We can continue to grow and change and question and develop---and re-write our origin story as a new chapter . . . . . .
If we get confused or feel too challenged by any of these re-imaginings, we can always find a friend, a coach, to help us sort out our feelings and set ourselves back to heart intention and nurturing our soul.